Happy are the dead folks..

manic mornings and bloody wrists
should not get me so far
in the sunshine and in the mist
shines the same my dear scar

and in the midst of all the fallings
shall my heart find a way to revoke,
to withdraw itself from all beatings
for I know how happy are the dead folks

when I’m gone and happy in decay
you will know that I’ve found a way
a way out of all this madness
and I shall not linger another day

Broken limbs and torn entrails
shall welcome my happy days
and my parting sadness must unveil
a bleeding nose and a blackening face

Remember my face from the night before
and excuse the bloody mess I’ve made
and all my blood and all my gore
shall, My darling, find you unafraid

some more crappy poetry for suicide..

at the worlds last resort,
unearthly, the eternal shore
as I laid, I said to myself
I’ve been here before

upon my feet, with so much effort
I turned my back against the world
and looked below, as I looked below
I took a leap and then I felt no more

all the faces smiled and melt
all the faces that I knew and that I know
all the faces smiled and melt
as they have never done before

I checked my heart as I took it apart,
I checked my heart that I felt a second ago
it beat for another,and a beat so slow
and then I loved no more

horizon uncovered a great white light
and then a sun shone before the shore
a sun that never had shone before
and in that light I adored my woe

under a benign sun, in my last repose
I held in my hand, the heart I once bore
and then I smiled for the joy and woe..
I smiled, as I am to bear it no more

More crappy poetry for suicide..

When the night is draping
and the moon is late
no more plans of escaping
I’ll give into sweet nightmare

When the door is gaping
and I’m needless to wait
it’s somewhere warm and safe
and I won’t need you there.

my heart, the open stream
and it’s running out of dreams
they’re reflected in the blade
and I’ll smile at it’s cold glare.

when the sky has tucked me in
over me her starry warm skin,
nevermore am I to die within 🙂
and I’ll always have your stare

this one’s a tribute to Sara Teasdale’s I shall not care..

Blood Ground

Retreating quietly from the battlefield,
bleeing, a wound in my chest, a year-old,
flesh cut deep, bleeding pretty, concealed
you were so bold, but I’ll fold, war’s too cold

A bullet to the left, another to the right
I’ve been left, but never been right
never I’ve wept, I’ve held on tight
the grip I’d kept, was just too slight.

Through ashes and smoke, my friend and I
though not a good walk, we always hanged by.
blood moon stalk, the prettiest lie
best bit to swallow, to swallow and die.

Lost at where, there’s nothing unfair
you were there, and it’s too much to bear
some comes alone, some with a spare
you took your shot, while it laid bare

At a loss of faith to fire another round
cos they crack the heart, that awful gun sound
now that you’re gone, I’ll be pale and unfound
and I’ll shield my wounds and yield to the blood ground

Suicide Note..

awake – sinhala

Awake..

long years of unending suffering are left behind
cold tears of unmending scars are just too blind
to see me in the spotlight, in your shining eyes
you’re so pretty in my veins like a fading cry

lost in deep dark rain, nobody wanted to see my pain
the black water drops never seemed to erase my stains
hidden in the clouds i never saw your sparkling gaze
until you came around and dared to get inside of the haze

frozen in the sun, they never looked so human to world
broken and bruised, pieces of my shattered heart in whirl
pale and dark lanes, no life of it never seemed to take
until you came in severing the blind as i awake

the world now lay still, nothing like I’d ever seen
it looks fragile, nothing I’d care for it could have been
since i have this place, no waking sun could outshine
ever on my smiling face, inside this hidden shrine

rise above the earth senselessly as it breaks us apart
all your love is worth my life and dying black heart
slight and slow the voice of the million shining stars
unlike their blames, screaming and growling so harsh

as the life passes by, you are my warmness of shade
holding me in your warmth, not letting them to invade
laughing on my pale skin, no dreams it do ever to fade
slight ache of love i embrace, know I’m not ever afraid

sickening mouths of angels and gods run away
darkening clouds of rains and my hate fly away
opening wide it arms, and bathing me in rays
of long lost sun, the sky is as blue as in my prayers

perfect world, blooming with laughter and smiles
all tears and blood, a vision from a distant plane
in where i never cried nor bled, like a waking child
from your endless embrace, far from all of my pain,
not anymore nor ever again

The Medic (saline and poison)

the pulse is beating slow and calm
echoing the waves the monitor displays
behind the greenness drips silently
drops of saline in to her vein

she breaths slow and calm
the monitor counts all her breaths
as she sucks her life’s essence
i count every second that lapse

as the saline drips slow and calm
it mixes with her blood all what is left
she seeped a lot before they found
laid in a pool of blood when they found

as her pulse fades slow and calm
it echoes the heart that beat within
she bled all her pain to force it all out
the poison she drank to calm her down

the poison takes her down slow and calm
it mixes with her blood all what is left
she drank something to cure her pain
it ended her on the bed beside my watch

i count her dying breath slow and calm
she releases it in to her oxygen mask
she trashes in her bed clenching her wrists
the monitor echoes all her dying plight

For my withered

I lay my hands on the dirt
where once you stepped
I prey my soul away with tears
where you forever slept

ending dreams of salvation
I saved no tears for your reborn
descending for depths of damnation
my grave has carved upon

my play of weeping children
where my heavenly promised one died
has paid it’s final ransom
the heart still remains tied

i shall not forget your fragrant
skin and words that sprayed away
i shall not forget the vows of
crimson rivers I’d led astray

entwining us with scent of decadent
the godless heaven that’s become my home
i shall run away with my indulgent
drawings i carved for eternity of warmth

ps: ok i feel emo so what lol

Crimson Endeavour

empty depths awaited thee
roar of winds lenores pleach
night times beneath glee
i commend my songs of grieve
into the seas

blackened waves died to see
limbs of sand failed to reach
failed to hold lands and she
forlornly breathed drugged and yield
into the greed

never drying eyes that dreamt
forever mine heavenly blessed
never to be enshodowed by grief
fixed on sun where the seas
swallowed the light
into the seas

crimson waves of my solace
in love with blades and longed to flee
carry me to thine enshrined embrace
pray my soul be entwined with thee
endearing the flight
into the greed